I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
