Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
