plz talk dirty to me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
