I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She swung at the pinata with crutches
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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