There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
