I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
