Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
