it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
