Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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