I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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