ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
