DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
