i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
