Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
