I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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