I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
