im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
