you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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