But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
