peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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