Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
