Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
