im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
