well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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