is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
