your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
