Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
