Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
