I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
