You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
