you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
