She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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