are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
