I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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