It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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