Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
