Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
