Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
