I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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