Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
