that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
