forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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