I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
