Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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