i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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