Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
