Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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