the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
high people should be assigned attendants
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
