Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize