Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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