i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
