yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
