Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
